Wednesday

self-indulgence

self indulgence

i apologize greatly for ignorin my publishin responsibilities for so long. it certainly isn't due to a lack of things to write about....in fact, it's just the opposite....i have found this new year over populatin my noggin with many concerns i wanted to share, debate and ponder along with you. the problem has been they were all more about the happenins in the world than right here around me and every time i pointed my two typin fingers toward the keyboard, the result ended up soundin sort of whiney.

if you are a mom, i'm pretty sure you are like me and worry on a daily basis how well you are doin your jobs - the motherin one and the life partner one and maybe a money payin one. lately i find myself spendin more and more time wonderin how i'm doin in my job as a human bein. sometimes i feel a bit overwhelmed by it all and work at tryin to keep everything in the proper perspective. it's been harder lately cause there are just so many things happenin today that i can't make sense of. i do believe that it has been the ponderin of all these worldly concerns that has kept me from bein able to do much bloggin in the last coupl'o months.

for almost a year i have truly enjoyed the self-indulgence of writin about the doins in my family. but lately there are so many things goin on that effect every mother's daily life, it seemed somehow wrong to write about my small bit of the globe without acknowledgin the the goins on elsewhere and i just couldn't quite figure out how to do both. like everything in life, there is a fine line to bloggin. nobody wants to read a blog full of some ol list o' worries...what a downer that would be. most people read blogs as a form of entertainment, a way of learnin things they don't know and seeing how people see things differently than they do.

today i started thinkin...if i am spendin so much time thinkin about some of these things, some of you have got to be doin the same and maybe it would be just fine to sort of mix em up - the self-indulgent musins' and the worldly worryin. if this solution doesn't set well with you just skip over which ever one you don't wanna read...that way i'll be able to jump start my regular bloggin and you won't keep showin up and seein the same ol thing.

now that i have warned you about the possibility of mixin up my worryin with my musins' in future bloggins, i thought i'd use the rest of this one to provide an update for all of you who have written askin me how things are and where i have been and when i am gonna start my bloggin again. i must admit it's nice to be missed.

...so here's a lil self-indulgent update.....

the body snatcher continues to desire spendin less time with me and more time playin the electric guitar, starin at herself in the you're-so-vanity and on her computer. she went to her first big school dance and arrived home in tears cause her crush kept lookin at her but never asked her to take to the floor for a spin. apparently ever time they made eye contact they would both turn their heads in the other direction. i tried to comfort her but everything i said was wrong. after she left in a sobbin huff i was hysterical thinkin i was such a bad mother that my lack of knowin how to handle such a serious situation might allow her to slide into one of those teen depressions that lead to drug addiction and self mutilation and such and was wishin i had webchyck's phone number as i read her blog and she seems to know how to successfully handle all body snatchin scenarios and never writes about hyperventilatin and maybe she'd agree to trade advice for doo dads. i decided to poke my head into the snatcher's domain to make sure my only child wasn't cryin too hard for breathin and what before my dumb mother eyes appears but a happy cheerful body snatcher - fingers flyin over the keyboard. i asked her if everything was okay and she said, 'mom, some things can only be made better by your friends'. of course the day before she told me she didn't have any and i spent a sleepless night worryin about where they might have all gone between this announcement by her and the short time since all six of em were here - havin a fashion show, modelin everything they could find on a hanger but bein in too big of a hurry to leave for the concert mini's daddy was takin em to, to hang nary one thing back up. ah but there is such a fine line between payin attention and attention paid when it comes to bein a mother.

mini's daddy has decided to take a lil time off to spend time with me and mini at home. this means he is drivin us all nuts. i do believe he thinks that i stop exisitin when he leaves durin the day and i only come back alive when he reappears as he just can't understand why i do not enjoy his constant appearances at the door of the doo dad den and why i prefer his constant phone calls where i can just pretend to listen to his comedy. this vacation time of his has led me and jo to tryin to find him a hobby he can work toward becomin addicted to but all attempts so far have failed as he says buggin us IS his hobby. jo says if we don't find him a hobby that sticks me and mini and her will have to move if he ever retires. and it's not just us who he's buggin...after only one day of him sharin his vast horticulture knowledge with the finally replaced gardeners, they all showed up at the door and told me if i don't keep him away from em they will have to quit. he is already forbidden to talk to anyone workin inside the house cause last time he did we lost della who didn't understand his sense of humor. our new approach is to act real borin whenever he comes around so maybe he'll think bein home in the daytime is so unrewardin that he'll cut his time off short, be gone again durin the day and we can return to what i have come to know as a normal daily life but to most people appears to be a round the clock sitcom. this is a perfect example of yet another fine line in life...knowin the difference between quality and quantity of time spent with loved ones.

so that is my two paragraph update. the art here is from the book i am makin for mini called 'a charmed life'. it is the story of my life and hers told through the charms collected during both. you may have seen both of the spreads already but the one titled september 11th 2001 fits my recent feelings perfectly...my effort to balance the art of bein a good mother and a good human bein and how the really big things and really lil things get all mixed in together. the other tells a lil story of the begininn of my life with mini's daddy and i picked it since today is our weddin anniversary. i have had the flu for the past week and don't have a present to present for the big day so i thought i'd attach it too...he pretends not to read my bloggin but i know he does so this will be a lil self-indulgent surprise for him since he loves any kind of attention. he's the one that taught me that it doesn't matter what people say about you - good or bad - the problem is when they ignore you altogether (of course that's easy for him to say since he has never been in the pea throwin patch). i do write about him honestly and sometimes he may not sound like much of a prince charmin' but mini and i (and jo) adore him and he makes us feel safe no matter what sort of crazy things are goin on in the rest of the world. i wish i could say the same for a man named george but i'll save that for the mixin to come....

12 comments:

DeeBee9 said...

I can certainly sympatize with you, Mo. I have a 15 year old daughter with the same talent for extreme drama. I'm not sure what to say anymore as it seems everything out of my mouth is either ignorant, accusatory or negligent. Please let me know how you are dealing with this sudden onset of calamity. I could use the encouragement too. One person advised me to answer her statements with the simple phrase, "I love you too much to argue about this" I keep trying that, but I'm not sure it's working. Good luck and much love
DB

Jan said...

Happy Anniversary! Mine's coming up too, in less than 2 weeks, and I decided that a little mini album about how I feel might be the best present I can give him.

Has mini's daddy tried golf? It's very good for keeping someone away for a whole day! And if they walk instead of riding in the little carts, they can even claim they got some exercise! My husband's been too busy to play much lately, but it always kept my dad away all weekend, leaving my mom & my grandmother, and my sister and me to go shopping or out to lunch, and still be able to sneak our packages in without too much trouble. It doesn't appeal to everyone, though, unfortunately.

I was sort of laughing at the body snatching. We haven't hit the interest in the opposite sex here (he hadn't had a girl friend since kindergarten, and claims there's no one who even catches his eye...), but we'll see how long that lasts. I'm just glad I'm not that age again -- it's so hard!

No, our problem is not body-snatchin, but drama queens and kings of the older variety -- grandparents. The best solution I've come up with so far for that one is to take a communication hiatus, as much as hate to do that for the boys. But they weren't being treated all too kindly, either. I'm sure absence will make the hearts grow fonder, but you can't really teach an old drama queen to retire the role and look for a new part. Or at least, I haven't been able to yet.

I don't think about that much lately, actually. But I do ponder all the troubles with the world. Lobbyists buying Congressmen, elected politicians who say stupid things and escalate problems, a Congress that doesn't seem to have its priorities straight (although that port deal rejection was kind of interesting...). Not focusing enough on how to rebuild New Orleans the right way, or taking good care of the people. Cutting benefits from those who can least afford to lose them, or setting up a prescription drug program without really thinking it through. Or making any real effort to bridge the gaps in perception and peace in the Middle East. Guess I should probably stop reading the Washington Post and the New York Times, but I don't feel like the paper here makes me really think much. And there's lessons in all that thinking --- watching how people respond to power struggles, and what sheer desperation will make people do. So, do share your ponderins and mixins. Entertainment comes in lots of forms! :-)

Pam Tatge said...

1. This is for mini's daddy...
http://groups.ucanr.org/cmgn/ That's a link to the UC master gardener main site. Sign him up for the master gardener course--it'll get him out of the house for at least 120 hours (not consecutively), and he'll have plenty of chances to tell people how to garden. (I'm a Texas master gardener and I tell people what to do all the time; sometimes they even ask first.)
2. Keep telling me about your problems. It distracts me from the ones at my house. Other people's problems seem so much more interesting (and solvable).
3. Go ahead and rant about the world at large. I, for one, will either: a. agree and tell you so; b. disagree and ignore it; c. disagree but start thinkin' and eventually change my mind; or d. disagree and point out how you are oh-so-wrong (but the chances of me doin' this are slim; I'm a conflict-avoider).
4. As long as someone is aware of and concerned about the world at large, and doin' SOMETHIN, it's not self-indulgent to examine one's own life. Understandin' & solvin' our own problems gives us insight into the bigger problems. We don't all have to do big things--we're not Bono. Makin' people smile (which doo dads do, by the way--they make people smile) tends to make people nicer to each other. Smilin' leads to more smilin'; people aren't mean when they're smilin' (except for the psychos, but that's another story).
5. Wish you could sit down and talk with the "Wise Women" that I hang out with. (I like to call them the "Underwire Girls", because they provide me with upliftin' & support, but they often object to the comparison with undergarments).
xoxoxoxoxo, Pam (wings)

bookmom said...

Happy Anniversary!
yes golf would be a good hobby....or may be fishing....he'll find somehting he likes to do...

as for the body snatchin...in the mist of that our selves....just had a run through of a break up and crushed heart, comes home bawling, then i turn around and she is laughing with her friends ten seconds later...kids!
but life is good again....a new one is the the works....
Hang in there Mo!

mmy2vce said...

mo, I just ADORE your writing! Your right about the pea throwing though...whenever I see peas flying...I duck and try to keep the peace in my writings, LOL. And, your hubby, well, he sounds quite normal if an eccentric fellow can be considered normal. I love your personalities and appreciate the glimse you give us into your mo world...Since we have not control in reality with the world happenings, we all just need to give as we can, create balance as much as possible and love those that are closest to us. Give you honey's a xoxo and know your surrounded by many who think you're the 'bee's knees'. Be well mo,

Marie :)

Robin said...

WOW. it's difficult to have anything really interestin to say after all those smart, encouraging and insightful remarks you have inspired. and the girls haven't barely got started yet checkin out your newest entry.... i can see the mixin approach will feed soul [b]and[/b] heart as well as the funny bone. i do wait patiently for each new entry on the page here. a world commentary combined with " Mo's World Turns" is a perfect combination. i have been so busy with the entertainin portion of my day that i feel a bit guilty for havin so much fun. it's the balance though isn't it? i am forever in a tizzy, havin worries and frets that i more often forget to have the fun part than the ponderin part. i can always count on goin to mo-land for a smile and a chuckle. sometimes i even wet my pants or spit out my coffee with the belly laughin. just know mo, that i appreciate all the lightness you add to my day and that the humor i share with my friends in the land-o-mo is as important to my well bein as my beauty sleep or my daily dose of prozac. it has been so valuable for me that in fact i have begun givin free 'group therapy sessions' to my clients with such titles as; "Scrapbooking as Meditation" and "Self Portraits: The Use of Photo Manipulation to Change Your Image and Improve Self-Worth". and my newest plan for my office (as encouraged by missy T) is to find the perfect fluffy puppy that i can train and mentor in the skills of co-therapy with children, families and couples who are considerin divorce. my hope is to make my own eensy contribution to makin the world a more loving, peaceful and happy place. hap hap happy anniversary mo and may you have many, many more. your ever-so-devoted friend and admirer, robin

Kpbrutcher of A Digi Memory said...

Oh Missy Mo, you do worry a lot. But I have a feeling that you are much more of an amazing mom than you give yourself credit for. Not understanding the raging emotions of teenagers does not make you a bad mom. The truth is, they don't understand them either and it appears that sleep takes care of them because the next morning, they generally act like nothing happened. Go figure. I think they are God's way of amusing himself by freaking us out once in a while so that we can appreciate things when they are normal.

Jeannie said...

Whenever I find a new blog entry from you, Mo, it's a good day. You're not whining -- I consider your blog entries to be artful, canny, sometimes wry observation. So keep it all coming. Thanks for what you add to my life!

redthewitch75 said...

I love you, Mo! You make the internet an interesting and beautiful place!

becky said...

Been a while since I popped in to see what's going on in Moland. Didn't know I should be settin' up shop as an expert on dealin' with body snatchin'! Wish I was. Sometimes I think that girl is going to be the death of me, I really do. Today she had a late start, which means, she didn't have to be to school until 10 a.m. Do you think she could get up on time? Uh, nope! I thought she WAS up. I was doin' my thing...taking the little one to school, running some quick errands. Came home and kept fiddlin' around. DS16 decides to walk to school, so around 9:15, I holler up at DD15, "I got you that posterboard you need," and she's all like, "Wha?! Huh? What time is it?" Sheesh! And believe me, sometimes she treats me like I just don't have a clue about anything, but then she'll turn around and be all gushy thankful for somethin' and then I remember what she's really like. Hard to not take stuff personally sometimes, but I just keep rememberin' that my dad said I was no different when I was her age, so just gotta roll with it. Believe me, they really don't want Mama to make everything all right. They gotta work this stuff out on their own--all that boy stuff and girlfriend betrayal crap. Keepin' her busy with the acting/singing thing sure helps, though. Less time to mope. Hang in there!

Tammy said...

As the mother of another child that's been captured by the body snatchers, I can sure feel your pain. Even though mine is the little boy in the scenario, he has NO problem asking the girls to dance. He just can't seem to decide on which one to dance with. Which gets them all riled up. It's not any easier no matter what side of the fence you're on. Mini will turn out great. I think.

Erin said...

Mo, children are the light and weight of our world arent't they? Being a good Mom wracks my brain day and night. Guilt, worry, concern, pride, and confusion are just a short list of the emotions I may be feeling towards or about my children at any given moment in any given day. My Husband always says, "I'd worry if you didn't worry. All that worrying is what makes you such a good Mom." So I guess that's just our jobs. Thanks for being so honest, and tell that Hubby of yours to get back to work!

X's & O's,

Erin