Monday

it's steve job's fault

mac-0ne
...well...for the most part anyway. there were other minor reasons i have been unbloggable for so long but for the most part steve jobs is to blame. see - he has been spendin' way too much time workin' on that ipod thing and tinkerin' with some sort o' televison doo dad when he needs to get back to work on some of his earlier inventions. i tried telephonin' him to discuss the mishaps and mayhem making me mad at most all machines mac most of the month o' march but as you may be musin', it was meaningless motion on my part.

we have plenty o' rooms here on the doo dad property and there's at least one mac in each of em. then in the guest house mini has a mac museum - a room filled with one o' each mac ever made from the very beginnin' - all in workin' order. and of course there's that secret mac graveyard i wrote about here on the blog just about two years ago - the place mini and i hide all the macs we have accidently mortally wounded in one way or another. addin' all those macs up together i would venture to guess we are some o' macs best customers and most frequent buyers - among regular sorta folks. so with all the problems i have had of late i was thinking, if it's hard for me to get mac-satisfied when i have a mac-problem, i wonder how frustrated some one-mac-family might get when encounterin' the same mishaps and mayhem i'm 'bout to mention.

i must explain why even tho i am surrounded by macs i have been unable to blog. for some reason i can only do any readin' and writin' on my personal laptop while sittin' on the shabby couch in the doo dad den. i can do everything else on the other macs but it's on the couch with my own laptop that i am able to whirl in the wonderful web world.
mac-two
too bad the term wireless was never meant to apply to mac-users who dabble in designs upwards of a whole gig each and who stockpile large quantities o' doo dads in the works and hunderds o' finished sets stored away. all these wires make me nuts. that's not really part o the recent mayhem but that lil white t-shaped thing is. it's supposed to enable the mac-chine to connect to the airport and therefore communicate with the other computers in the family and the whole world wide web. in my opinion, havin' paid for about a dozen or so now, it deserves an award for the dinkiest - and maybe dumbest - designed vital piece o' equipment ever made. it just sort of 'pokes' into the hole. it doesn't really 'screw' in or 'snap' in....just sort of 'sits'. as you can see...my latest batch is unable to 'sit' unassisted anymore. one is clingin' to life with the help of heavy duty tape and the other - out of desperation i hot glued it to it's surroundings.
mac-three
then there's the power cord. these things cost around 60 or 70 dollars each and i have yet to get my money's worth. no matter how careful i am, in no time the plastic casing breaks open to expose teeny wires that will shock you and your lil dog and shortly after that, the teeny wires break in two and the whole thing has to be replaced. sure - those mac-men will replace it for you if you purchased 'apple care'...but durin' the time you are sending the broken one to em and waitin' for the new one, whatta ya supposed to do? you did as they said to do and put your whole life on the mac-chine and now you can't even get juiced up and into your mac-life. no way mr. mac-steve was around to approve the newest version of power cord - the one that saves your life and mac-chine if you trip on it - cause it's mac-horrible. it's impossible to keep attached and teeny wires were showing and it had to be replaced after only two weeks. i think i preferred trippin'.

my last two issues are more mac-maddenin'. i was quite happy with the laptop i was usin' for readin' and writin' when mini's daddy pitched one o the newest intell versions into the doo dad den. from the moment i turned it on half the screen was full o blinkin and flashin' lines. it was quite frustratin' as up to that point i was used to having access to a whole screen. i was certain the mac-men would replace it if mini's daddy took it back. much to my surprise that was not the case. seems to get the proper assistance mini's daddy had to make an appointment with the store mac-wizard. this person was quite busy and the appointment couldn't take place for quite a few days. when the audience with the wizard was granted, mini's daddy was grilled on the situation and the mac-chine was looked over carefully and notes were made on the couple o lil scratches it contained. it was then sent away for almost two weeks to be fixed. as annoyed as this made me i couldn't help wonder how annoyed i would be if i had scrimped and saved to obtain the thing and then immediately had to give it back and be without it while mr. mac-steve (who by the way has never trained his underlings in the ways o' good customer relations....like tellin' them to at least convey some sympathy for your temporary loss or such) kept my saved and scrimped mac-money. although i was unable to do my readin' or writin' durin' the repairin' time, at least i had more macs i could do other things on. how mac-mad i would be if this wasn't the case.
mac-four
when mini's daddy picked up the brand new once half-screened mac-chine, he noticed the closure area was slightly damaged. he asked that a notation be made about it but was told this wasn't possible. this made him really mac-mad and after he spent a whole day on the phone, it was made possible. sadly - and madly - in no time, half the screen started actin' up again. just when i was ready to pitch the new machine into the secret graveyard and yank my most recently retired laptop back from jo, mini figured out that if i attached a clothespin to a certain place on the side i could get the whole screen to appear without lines and blinkin'. but right after figurin' that out, i could no longer get the arrow to move or the clicker to click. and the whole thing was so hot if it was any where near my lap i was sweatin' like a pig. i had just bout had it with my fancy intell mac-machine. right before i decided to hurl it out the window i noticed the battery was all swollen and bulgin' and some white gel lookin' stuff appeared ready to ooze out. mini's daddy called to inquire about the bulge and was told it was what you would call an explodin' battery and that this was the first they had heard of the condition occurrin' on one o the new macs. we were instructed to send the battery and it's bulge to them right away and if we would provide a credit card number they would be happy to send me a new one. once they recieved the explodin one they would refund the money.

i now have the new battery - although it woulda been nice if it had arrived with some sort of apology or even one o those apple decals - and as long as i keep the clothespin in the right place, i am now up and runnin' - able to read and write and blog again. i am even gettin' used to the pain o the clothespin flippin' off and smackin' me in the face. i will remain annoyed that it's gotten to the point where the mac-makers can get away with just about anything nowadays. i hafta put up with situations and a lack o' customer service i would never tolerate from any other business. yes...i feel as if there's a macopoly and i have an addiction for mac-chines that could never be filled by that other machine. unfortunately i fear mr. mac-steve knows this about us mac-users and because he does, i may never have the pleasure of bein' greeted with a smilin' cheerful 'hello' or 'welcome' or 'how can i help you' or even the always appreciated 'thank you so much for shopping with us' when visitin' one o his bright white stores or an apology when i am forced to do without my chosen machine thru no fault o' my own. and if mac t.v. is even an iota as successful as the ipod has been - well - i'm sure my addiction for all things mac will be even less appreciated. hopefully along the way mr. mac.steve will at least do somethin about that t-shaped vital piece o equipment .

a big moland thanks to all o you who have inquired as to my whereabouts. i apologize to anyone whose email may have gone unanswered durin' my mac-misadventures. i have once again fallen woefully behind in my duties and am gonna set about tryin' to catch up right away and will do my best to make you forgive me. i'm givin' the intell mac-chine one more chance.

13 comments:

Tracy said...

What a wonderful suprise to have a new blog when I popped in today! So sorry to hear about those frustrating 'maccidents' with your necessary equipment and the lack of sympathetic customer service people! I applaud mini's brilliant solution -- perhaps you could gingerly coat the clothespin in some of that 'floam' stuff that is advertised on the kids channels every 4 minutes to soften the blow when it sproings off. I'm a little relieved now that I had to go PC again this time... ;) You've been missed terribly my dear - welcome back! xoxoxo

Lauren said...

Welcome back! Nothing is more frustrating than Techno-Troubles. I hope things get better in Moland.

Christa said...

goodness gracious my dear mo.. so glad you are back, but so sorry about the mac attacks... I hope that mr steve does something to relieve your headaches.. cannot believe that they would treat you like this after all the mac items you seem to have owned over the years.. after reading all your mac woes, I am with tracy and glad the beginning of feb i got a new pc which i am having fun with it and even the new vista thingy.. anyway, i am so sorry that you keep getting smacked in the noggin with the clothes pin that mini helped you rig.. i would think that there is a warranty on a new machine that does not work.. that is ridiculous.. is there a lemon law for macs like for vehicles? to me an exploding battery, a bent cover which is probably the reason for the half screen and also that t thing is about the craziest thing i ever heard.. it almost reminds me of the fight i had via email with the msn forums last year before finding moland and left them in the dust.. to me they should all be called no customer service or the no help line.. for the cost of things, you expect to buy something and have it work.. i guess they figure that is too much to ask for.. i hope for your sake and for moland that they do something to fix the biggest mistake they made by frustrating our mayor.. we in moland do not take too kindly to that sort of behavior!! hugs a bunch my dear friend.. glad you are okay.. I was getting worried about you.. christa

Barbara said...

and my husband thinks he has it bad working with only two computers! am so sorry, dearest mo, for your latest computer woes. guess that nerdy pc guy in the mac commercial is lookin' pretty good nowadays, and the cool guy is obviously not telling the complete truth about the ease-of-use of it all. I mean, the fact that you have to put a clothespin on your laptop screen so that it displays correctly is nuts. But I realize that you are still a mac-addict, blown-up batteries & weird t-shape thingies or no, and that's what makes mr. jobs a happy, happy man. sure hope he sends you flowers or something - you definitely deserve an apology, tho i think a free computer would be most gracious, don't you? so happy to see you back in the blogosphere, mo! glad you are feeling better, tho perhaps a bit frustrated. yep, technology is the devil's curse, eh?

Anonymous said...

We are going to have to turn you into a PC girl! Maybe we should consider sending Mini to technical school to learn to fix that graveyard of mac-hines. ;) So glad to have you back in blogdom!

Peggy

Anonymous said...

So glad to hear your tales from moland, technical demons included.

My day is always more interesting with some mo in it!

Mini is a genius! Maybe she shoudl start her own company to compete with Apple! I know the graphics would be unique and fabulous!

jodi
jsher

bookmom30@verizon.net said...

i like the fixing cloths pin.....
poor mo....

KimberlyP said...

OMG - I'm going to get fired from laughing so hard. Not at your pain - I feel for you, but your writing is just so darn funny.

You are one patient woman! I would march that baby right into one of those big white stores (the biggest one I could drive to, during the busiest time of day) and show off my exploding battery and wooden clipped monitor.

Robin said...

aw mo... altho you know i am full o compassion for your frustrated efforts to repair the unrepairable i do so wish you would let every one know just why it is you are still a mac addict... you see... all these pc persons (the nerdy guy included) are lookin' for a reason to remain anti mac in this pc world! i would urge for a balanced review from our mayor in the near future... all your citizens are listening and they are getting only the bad news.. don't you love your mac anymore? i know i love my mac thru thick and thin..so sorry for your loss and suffering my dear... do you want to borrow my trusty mac next time?

Jude said...

Hahahaha that made me smile - I know exactly what you are saying.... have had my share of those little wireys poking out - I've taped them and nervously rearranged them..... the only thing to do I've decided is to always have spares! And the magnetic plug..... well tripping didn't happen that often....

Anonymous said...

I hope you sent a copy of this to Stevie. I was just told yesterday by a store clerk that Apple has been rated #1 in Service for the last six years. Can you apply the lemon law to a computer?

rhona v (fellow MAC user since 11E and even the Franklin (anyone remember that?)

Tee said...

Oh my, certainly I hope you haven't given up faith in all things Mac!

And if you are ever thinking of going to a PC, me and my coworkers have plenty of PC stories to tell...and none of them are pretty! One of them involves flames and smoke...

angela said...

omg, i am seriously laughing here. i thought i was the only one. i am on my third mac power cord, and now this was has burned up my battery (literally, i have two burn spots on the hole where the power cord plugs into the computer) and not working once gain. *sigh*