the biggest loser



that's right...though i took as many steps as i possibly could, my pedometer still ended up postin' less than half those that jo and mimi's did. so i ended up hidin' over two thousand eggs while i watched them sit in the shade and practice all their poses. as you can see from my picture, i had to start long before the sun came up and was still stuffin' 'em here and there when the eager egg explorers were ready to enter the huntin' grounds. i ended up eatin' bout half the chocolate outta most of em...once my pocket was overflowin' with empty wrappers, i'm embarrassed to say i just poked em back in the egg i stole from and snapped it up tight before pokin' it into a bush or whatever. i felt i deserved all the vitiamin c since i was havin' to work up a sweat in my easter finery - especially when the two cute cousins stayed so pretty and dry in their cotton couture.

but my ever growin' eggsasperation while doin' the hidin' was nothin' compared to what i felt - and am still feelin' - once i found out why those two tiny hipped frito and bean dip eatin beer guzzlin never calorie countin' cousins ended up rackin' in such high quantities o' steps seldom leavin' their metal homes while i was steppin' across and on just about every surface possible round the clock and didn't even come close to their soarin' sums.

when last leavin' blogdom i went searchin' for mimi - she had left at the crack o' dawn in jo's lucky tube top and i was gettin' worried that she might have walked her tootsies plum off....but i had to only travel one street over to find that she had actually been parkin' herself at the house they've been shootin' that new sunday night family drama all week hopin' they'd beg her to come on in and play one o' the major parts. they didn't and sittin' there all week sure wasn't earnin' her those high pedometer numbers she had been turnin' in. while draggin' her back to moland i looked her over real close and saw nary a sign o' the pedometer within jo's tube top or her short shorts. and when i delivered her home to the backyard trailer court, there was missy jo, in her teeny tiny bikini, floating back and forth across the pool. i could be wrong but from what i know, the pedometer doesn't pick up that kinda movement.

i should'a figured it out alot sooner but with all those bisque eggs to paint and plastic ones to stuff and chocolate bunnies to bite i guess i was just not payin' close enough attention. it wasn't til the mailman asked me to come to the door today that i discovered the depth o' deception i was dealin' with. seems the mailman was goin' home early today and wanted to go on and get jo back her pedometer since she told him she had to have at the end o' each day. he said he didn't wanna just leave it in the mailbox - same place he'd been pickin' it up each mornin' - cause he wanted to make sure it made it safely into jo's hands. i was steamin' mad - yet at the same time i must admit i was admirin' her ingenuity. who'd have ever thought to ask the mailman to wear the pedometer durin' all his deliveries so they could rack up the big steppin' numbers....nobody but my cousin jo i imagine! as i headed out to beat her over the head with it, i noticed lucy bird had somethin' hangin' from her collar....and wouldn't you know - it was mimi's lil black box danglin' like an ugly plastic dog tag...that poor big dog had been doin' all mimi's steppin' while she sat on the curb, waitin' to be discovered!

i decided not to tell either of em that i know of their sneaky step stealin' just yet. i normally don't take pleasure in other people's panic or pain but i found myself takin' in just a bit tonight as they both scurried around tryin' to locate their step counters. i'll have to tell 'em they've been caught shortly but am hopin' before i do i can come up with some way for them to pay me back for doin' all the egg hidin' while they just sat and practiced their poses!

hope your easter weekend was as chocolate filled as mine was....and just in case you bit as many bunnies and chewed as many chicks as i did, my dear friend peggy sent me just the thing....it's an easter calorie counter calculator to total your easter basket calories (or those calories you took from someone else's basket or plastic eggs) and see how far you must walk in steps, miles and kilometers to work it off. here's the link: http://walking.about.com/library/cal/bleastercalories.htm...be sure to wait til you've reached the bottom o' the basket before you go! no need to waste good chocolate!