Tuesday

mini 'n lily

mini 'n lily
when mini started kindergarten, she began the search for the girl that would be her best friend. with two classes o' twenty children, half bein' girls, she was certain that one of 'em just had to be 'the one'. but after couple o' years of tryin' out each and every girl available, it was obvious that none of 'em was the best friend she'd been dreamin' of for so long. and it wasn't 'cause she was bein' too picky or had unrealistic expectations...i heard more than one other mother state that it was an odd mix o' girls. while they were all special, they just didn't seem to belong together in the same group. even so, mini never gave up hope that one of 'em might return from summer vacation and fit the bill.

unfortunately mini's optimistic outlook throughout elementary school was in vain. she had lots o' 'good friends'...though no 'best friend'.

but her hopes could once again rise when entering middle school. a whole new crop o' girls would be added and she knew that one of 'em was gonna be the perfect fit....and this time she was right. it took no time at all for her and one o' the new girls, lily burk, to declare that they were the best o' friends.

they did have much in common - both only children of parents almost the same age....both very creative and each with a wicked sense o' humor. they both loved the same music, the same books and together developed a habit o' keepin' dozens o' lil notebooks with them at all times, coverin' each page - front and back - with teeny tiny handwritin' that spelled out ideas and thoughts and goals etc. etc. etc. i find these lil pages everywhere - both mini's and lily's - and have come to the conclusion that they are all written in a language only the two of them can understand.

the first time i met lily i knew mini had made a good choice....the doo dad den was a wreck - worse than it's usual state o' bein'. mini's daddy had taken the girls to concert and they surprised me by returning early. i hated for mini's new friend to see my surroundings at their worst. but lily took one look at my mess and declared it was the most wonderful room she'd ever been in.

when lily entered our lives i had to accept the fact that when mini needed advice, i was no longer the only person she turned to for help. i'm still the first person she asks but once i finish providin' her with my excellent words o' wisdom, she then says 'i have to go call lily now and see what she thinks.'

last thursday night, for some reason neither mini or i could sleep and ended up in her bed together, me tellin' her the same tall tales she has loved all her life. as usually happens, lily became part of our conversation and i asked her what she loved most about their friendship. she said lily was the most clever, most creative person she'd ever met and when they departed, she always felt 'fuller' than before they were together. and then she said, as she always did when talkin' about lily, ' she's really goin' to go places mom'.

friday afternoon lily ran an errand for her mother and never returned. saturday morning she was found dead in her car.

my heart is broken for lily's parents and everyone who loved her - includin' my mini - and that all those places lily was supposed to go will not have the pleasure of seeing her arrive.

18 comments:

gail said...

I'm crying. I'm soooo sorry for you loss. Hold that little gal of yours real tight.

Anonymous said...

Our prayers to Mini and poor Lily's family. I am sure one day Mini and Lily will get to continue their long conversation again.

I told my best friend of this tragic loss, and we both cried. Both at Mini and Lily's loss. I am going to hold my daughters and my best friend a little closer tonight, as Gail suggests.

jodi
jsher

Anonymous said...

The only possible thought that comes to my mind is...mini will always have a guardian angel.Lily will watch over mini.
when I was 11 I met donna. We became best friends. At 15 donna was having trouble with her step dad. Lets just say donna ended up pregnant. She called me one night to tell me if she wasn't in school tomorrow to just know I was the best friend she ever had and she wanted me to live for us both. We talked for 3 hours that night. I wouldn't hang up until she promised I would see her on the school bus. When we went to her bus stop I could see her house..and police cars..and the fire dept...I ran off the bus..a fireman stopped me..he just held me..she shot herself he said...I kept saying what...she shot herself..she was dead. I am 43 now and there is not one single day I don't think of donna..and at the lowest points in my life..I have felt her by me....I don't even know if time heals something like this. just let mini know that it is important to open her heart...she will have another best friend...but it will never be the same as her first best friend...but always, always..no matter how much it hurts...keep an open heart...
geneen from tehachapi, ca

Anonymous said...

Mo my heart is breaking for mini, you and most of all Lily's family. No words can express how truly sorry I am. as the girls have also posted it is so hard, but lily will always be with mini.. your blog today is a wonderful tribute to the special friendship that Mini had and will always have. you are all in my prayers.. christa

Anonymous said...

My heart goes out to you all, what a tragic loss of a beautiful young life. I read the news report and was truly upset reading those details. I can only imagine how devastating this must be for Lily's family and friends.......his is one tough time to be dealing with. I am going to give my kids a real big hug next time I see them ....please give your Mini an extra hug for me too. My thoughts are with you. xxox Deb

Anonymous said...

How does one make any sense of the tragic, senseless loss of that poor childs life...you don't. It will never make sense and no matter how much time passes the hurt and loss will still be there. It will soften and fade for periods of time and someday Mini will only remember the good times, the funny times, the secrets and plans shared and the specialness of their friendship, not the vile and evil circumstances that took her away. There will be milestones reached that they talked about reaching together and the dreams, tears and hurt will come roaring back for a bit but she will survive it because deep in her heart she will know that Lily is right there with her, applauding and cheering her on...she'll always be there for her because such is the nature of true friendship. God bless and comfort Lily's family and friends, Mini and you Mo dear...I know you will be there to support and hold her through the really bad times to come...such is the nature of a mothers love. xoxo's JudyG

Anonymous said...

Oh Mo, what a terrible tragedy. Hugs to you, your family, and Lily's family. There are just no words...

Michelle (Michellesmyname)

Saucy said...

Mo, there are no words. I have little tears on my cheeks. Give Mini a hug.

xoxo
Sasha

Anonymous said...

I can't even fathom the loss and heartbreak. It truly is every parents worst nightmare. Our children always question why we are so over protective...they want to be adults and independent so soon and they don't realize that we fear not them growing up but the mere thought of losing them before their time. My heart aches for her family and for the pain that mini must be feeling. Nothing will ever replace her dear friend but I hope that she finds comfort in knowing that you are there for her and that you love and understand her in this difficult time.

may God guide you both
Peggy

ejj said...

What a lovely message about Lily and all she meant to Mini! It sounds as though she was a true friend in every sense of the word. I'm thinking about you and sending lots of love.

ejj

Taiya said...

Mo, I'm so sorry! I can only imagine how hard this is on your family, and poor Mini. Not to mention Lily's family. I am not good at saying the right thing. I hope and pray that Mini can hang onto all of her great memories of Lily and keep her alive in her life every day by remembering her. A friend like that is not easy to find...

Sandy said...

How devastating for all of you! I stopepd by for the first time to look at some of your kits and saw this horrible news.....I am so sorry for your daughter's loss of a best friend....they don't come easy or often....I wish there was something I could say....I am sorry is all that really comes to mind. Sandy

Anonymous said...

Mo, I really have no words that are adequate. What a huge loss to Mini, you, Lily's parents and the world. My heart broke reading this. I always hold my baby close but I will hold her even closer when she returns from school today.
I have had you on my mind a lot recently...don't know why...and I am glad I came by today. Many hugs are coming your way.
Davita

Rosa said...

Oh my heart goes out to Mini and Lily's parents. What a horror. I am so sorry.

lisa mertins said...

hi mo, i'm here from the fishbowl, thinking i'd come across another happy, creative site only to be heartbroken with the news of your daughter's friend. we too suffered the recent loss of our son's friend (sept. 1 car accident) i'm still surprised at how devastating it is for our family, shaking our ideas of what life is all about. i will keep you and your family, as well as lily's in my thoughts and prayers.

Dori said...

Oh, Mo....What a tragic loss! My heart goes out to Mini and to Lily's family. May all Mini's sweet memories comfort her.

Anonymous said...

Oh mo and mini!!! bless your hearts!I know this is hard as we r goin thru the grief stages too with the passing of our wonderful King Al. it is ok to cry at the drop of a hat - and remember all the great times you had...but it is just the worst hurt ever. surround yourself with positive support...and when u receive the crazy advice just thank them for their concern..you know what works best. lots of love....double e

April Rieff said...

Oh my gosh, Mo, that just broke my heart. :( I'm so sorry for everyone. :( :( :(