birthdays and fiction...

"thanks... i went in library, then he came in, then we both left cuz all the computers were taken.... I said hi, he said hey, and he held the door open 4 me!!!"

what you have just read is the email i received from mini mo - sent from school - after i spent an entire morning, typing with my two middle fingers, a 6 page story she wrote in her pre-teen teeny tiny hand-writing that was flung at me on her way out the door to be driven to school by her father. i had no idea, when i woke her at 4:30 in the morning so that she could finish doin' the homework that didn't get finished the night before in the 5 hours she pretended to be workin' but was actually practicing lookin' in the mirror - which, from what i have heard, does not get graded in the seventh grade - that it would indeed be ME - mo - mother - who would actually be doin' the finishin' after she left for school in her hip huggin' finery.

after workin' feverishly to finish typing with my two middle fingers the story written in such teeny writing i could barely make out the pre-teen words of adventure conjured up for this attempt at fiction by the deadline that was yelled up at me while i stood on the balcony outside the doo dad den, blowin' ignored kisses to my only child as i have done for all of the 8 years we have parted for what seemed like way too many hours to be apart, the above email is what i got in return.

long ago, after meeting prince charming, falling in love, getting engaged, married, pregnant and babied in a matter of time that i think could all be listed within the same calendar year, i sought a bit of counseling for my weary self. it wasn't because i was troubled by any of the new titles i had been given along the way - girlfriend, lover, fiancee, wife, DAUGHTER-IN-LAW, mother, weight gainer, sleep needer - just thought i could use some fine tuning.

the therapist recommended to me by someone who must've disliked me intensely was a beverly hills oh so flawless drop dead gorgeous exquisitely put together condescending know-it-all that was happy to look down her perfectly plastic surgeoned nose at me for a mere 250.00 an hour. one of the few things i remember takin' away from her expensively interiorly decorated shabbily chic suite in one of the most la tee da addresses on canon, was that the time would come that i would reach over and pull mini mo's hair as hard as i could.

horrors upon horrors! how could this no hipped, perky breasted casually attired armani wearin' hussie suggest anything like this! me - mo - adoring mother to her own flesh and blood, child from her womb who she built herself, one day at a time, one baby ruth swallowed whole after another while driving aimlessly through the streets of L.A. in search of the best chili cheese dog, extra onions please, ever doing ANYTHING to cause harm to mini mo who would never be anything but the world's first ever perfect child in each and every way! how dare this diamond drippin' 110 pound weighin' impeccably manicured 250 dollar an houred creep posin' as a therapist say such a thing. i had no choice but to stop seeing this her.

it's now almost thirteen long years later - my how time flies. i have often thought of those cruel words that the offending therapist had the nerve to say to me so long ago. for some reason as i anxiously awaited mini mo's outpouring of thanks to arrive on my screen after i emailed the carefully typed by me who can't type story to my only child, i thought about this therapist and the words she spoke to me. how odd that they would pop into my mind -could just be this fever i've been havin'.

upon mini mo's arrival home from the expensive private school she attends, she does as she has always does - comes into the doo dad den and deposits her pink burberry backpack on the floor where it would stay for eternity if she weren't reminded it contains all the knowledge she needs to obtain to make her own way in the world - and begins to disperse all the tidbits that are of importance to no one but a self-involved almost thirteen year old girl. as we sit together on the shabby couch and i practice faces of interest at hearing the days events in such detail i do indeed feel i had actually been there myself, i remember that it is important to do whatever it takes to keep all lines of communication open with your child during these oh so precarious pre-teen years or else you, mother, will be responsible for any and all bad things that she, your child, does or could think of doing or sees being done altho, if this time of our lives continues much longer i fear i may have to have that warnin' tattooed on her forehead so that i am not tempted to forget it.

once she finishes telling me of the events of a day that sounds more like an 8 hour social gathering than anything resembling an expensive attempt at gaining an education, i realize that there indeed has been no mention of the story emailed to her by a two fingered typin' mother. feeling that she would certainly feel bad later when realizing that she had omitted from her days event the great appreciation she feels for this act of love on my part, i provide the opportunity for her to express her words of gratitude.

"sweet mini, were you able to get your story printed in the library in time for your humanities class?", i asked.
"what story?", the body snatcher replied.

i've been thinking maybe during this difficult time, you know - with the body snatcher and all, that maybe it would be a good time for me to get a little more fine tuning done. and it's such a pain to find somebody good. maybe i'll just go back to that woman i saw before. it's been a while and surely she has aged some and lost some of her sheen. and now that i think about it, i guess she really did know what she was talkin' about.

today's art is in honor of michelle of the oh so famous blog scrapability. yes, it is in fact her birthday and i hope it is just as happy a day as she's ever had so far and just a lil' sign of all the good ones to come. it is also my baby brother's birthday so i want to wish him just as happy a day as possible as there is no nicer person in the world. and since he was born during my third birthday celebration, that means it is also my birthday today. i'm hopin' mini is still bein' as sweet as she has been since comin' home from school yesterday - that's really all i'll need to make it a good day for me - plus cousin jo brought out the crock pot and swears she's makin' a fancy lunch so that MIGHT be nice - we'll see.

AND...for all of you who stop by here at the blog, whether it's your birthday or not, i hope you have a wonderful day too!