i apologize greatly for ignorin my publishin responsibilities for so long. it certainly isn't due to a lack of things to write about....in fact, it's just the opposite....i have found this new year over populatin my noggin with many concerns i wanted to share, debate and ponder along with you. the problem has been they were all more about the happenins in the world than right here around me and every time i pointed my two typin fingers toward the keyboard, the result ended up soundin sort of whiney.
if you are a mom, i'm pretty sure you are like me and worry on a daily basis how well you are doin your jobs - the motherin one and the life partner one and maybe a money payin one. lately i find myself spendin more and more time wonderin how i'm doin in my job as a human bein. sometimes i feel a bit overwhelmed by it all and work at tryin to keep everything in the proper perspective. it's been harder lately cause there are just so many things happenin today that i can't make sense of. i do believe that it has been the ponderin of all these worldly concerns that has kept me from bein able to do much bloggin in the last coupl'o months.
for almost a year i have truly enjoyed the self-indulgence of writin about the doins in my family. but lately there are so many things goin on that effect every mother's daily life, it seemed somehow wrong to write about my small bit of the globe without acknowledgin the the goins on elsewhere and i just couldn't quite figure out how to do both. like everything in life, there is a fine line to bloggin. nobody wants to read a blog full of some ol list o' worries...what a downer that would be. most people read blogs as a form of entertainment, a way of learnin things they don't know and seeing how people see things differently than they do.
today i started thinkin...if i am spendin so much time thinkin about some of these things, some of you have got to be doin the same and maybe it would be just fine to sort of mix em up - the self-indulgent musins' and the worldly worryin. if this solution doesn't set well with you just skip over which ever one you don't wanna read...that way i'll be able to jump start my regular bloggin and you won't keep showin up and seein the same ol thing.
now that i have warned you about the possibility of mixin up my worryin with my musins' in future bloggins, i thought i'd use the rest of this one to provide an update for all of you who have written askin me how things are and where i have been and when i am gonna start my bloggin again. i must admit it's nice to be missed.
...so here's a lil self-indulgent update.....
the body snatcher continues to desire spendin less time with me and more time playin the electric guitar, starin at herself in the you're-so-vanity and on her computer. she went to her first big school dance and arrived home in tears cause her crush kept lookin at her but never asked her to take to the floor for a spin. apparently ever time they made eye contact they would both turn their heads in the other direction. i tried to comfort her but everything i said was wrong. after she left in a sobbin huff i was hysterical thinkin i was such a bad mother that my lack of knowin how to handle such a serious situation might allow her to slide into one of those teen depressions that lead to drug addiction and self mutilation and such and was wishin i had webchyck's phone number as i read her blog and she seems to know how to successfully handle all body snatchin scenarios and never writes about hyperventilatin and maybe she'd agree to trade advice for doo dads. i decided to poke my head into the snatcher's domain to make sure my only child wasn't cryin too hard for breathin and what before my dumb mother eyes appears but a happy cheerful body snatcher - fingers flyin over the keyboard. i asked her if everything was okay and she said, 'mom, some things can only be made better by your friends'. of course the day before she told me she didn't have any and i spent a sleepless night worryin about where they might have all gone between this announcement by her and the short time since all six of em were here - havin a fashion show, modelin everything they could find on a hanger but bein in too big of a hurry to leave for the concert mini's daddy was takin em to, to hang nary one thing back up. ah but there is such a fine line between payin attention and attention paid when it comes to bein a mother.
mini's daddy has decided to take a lil time off to spend time with me and mini at home. this means he is drivin us all nuts. i do believe he thinks that i stop exisitin when he leaves durin the day and i only come back alive when he reappears as he just can't understand why i do not enjoy his constant appearances at the door of the doo dad den and why i prefer his constant phone calls where i can just pretend to listen to his comedy. this vacation time of his has led me and jo to tryin to find him a hobby he can work toward becomin addicted to but all attempts so far have failed as he says buggin us IS his hobby. jo says if we don't find him a hobby that sticks me and mini and her will have to move if he ever retires. and it's not just us who he's buggin...after only one day of him sharin his vast horticulture knowledge with the finally replaced gardeners, they all showed up at the door and told me if i don't keep him away from em they will have to quit. he is already forbidden to talk to anyone workin inside the house cause last time he did we lost della who didn't understand his sense of humor. our new approach is to act real borin whenever he comes around so maybe he'll think bein home in the daytime is so unrewardin that he'll cut his time off short, be gone again durin the day and we can return to what i have come to know as a normal daily life but to most people appears to be a round the clock sitcom. this is a perfect example of yet another fine line in life...knowin the difference between quality and quantity of time spent with loved ones.
so that is my two paragraph update. the art here is from the book i am makin for mini called 'a charmed life'. it is the story of my life and hers told through the charms collected during both. you may have seen both of the spreads already but the one titled september 11th 2001 fits my recent feelings perfectly...my effort to balance the art of bein a good mother and a good human bein and how the really big things and really lil things get all mixed in together. the other tells a lil story of the begininn of my life with mini's daddy and i picked it since today is our weddin anniversary. i have had the flu for the past week and don't have a present to present for the big day so i thought i'd attach it too...he pretends not to read my bloggin but i know he does so this will be a lil self-indulgent surprise for him since he loves any kind of attention. he's the one that taught me that it doesn't matter what people say about you - good or bad - the problem is when they ignore you altogether (of course that's easy for him to say since he has never been in the pea throwin patch). i do write about him honestly and sometimes he may not sound like much of a prince charmin' but mini and i (and jo) adore him and he makes us feel safe no matter what sort of crazy things are goin on in the rest of the world. i wish i could say the same for a man named george but i'll save that for the mixin to come....
