the biggest loser

that's right...though i took as many steps as i possibly could, my pedometer still ended up postin' less than half those that jo and mimi's did. so i ended up hidin' over two thousand eggs while i watched them sit in the shade and practice all their poses. as you can see from my picture, i had to start long before the sun came up and was still stuffin' 'em here and there when the eager egg explorers were ready to enter the huntin' grounds. i ended up eatin' bout half the chocolate outta most of em...once my pocket was overflowin' with empty wrappers, i'm embarrassed to say i just poked em back in the egg i stole from and snapped it up tight before pokin' it into a bush or whatever. i felt i deserved all the vitiamin c since i was havin' to work up a sweat in my easter finery - especially when the two cute cousins stayed so pretty and dry in their cotton couture.

but my ever growin' eggsasperation while doin' the hidin' was nothin' compared to what i felt - and am still feelin' - once i found out why those two tiny hipped frito and bean dip eatin beer guzzlin never calorie countin' cousins ended up rackin' in such high quantities o' steps seldom leavin' their metal homes while i was steppin' across and on just about every surface possible round the clock and didn't even come close to their soarin' sums.

when last leavin' blogdom i went searchin' for mimi - she had left at the crack o' dawn in jo's lucky tube top and i was gettin' worried that she might have walked her tootsies plum off....but i had to only travel one street over to find that she had actually been parkin' herself at the house they've been shootin' that new sunday night family drama all week hopin' they'd beg her to come on in and play one o' the major parts. they didn't and sittin' there all week sure wasn't earnin' her those high pedometer numbers she had been turnin' in. while draggin' her back to moland i looked her over real close and saw nary a sign o' the pedometer within jo's tube top or her short shorts. and when i delivered her home to the backyard trailer court, there was missy jo, in her teeny tiny bikini, floating back and forth across the pool. i could be wrong but from what i know, the pedometer doesn't pick up that kinda movement.

i should'a figured it out alot sooner but with all those bisque eggs to paint and plastic ones to stuff and chocolate bunnies to bite i guess i was just not payin' close enough attention. it wasn't til the mailman asked me to come to the door today that i discovered the depth o' deception i was dealin' with. seems the mailman was goin' home early today and wanted to go on and get jo back her pedometer since she told him she had to have at the end o' each day. he said he didn't wanna just leave it in the mailbox - same place he'd been pickin' it up each mornin' - cause he wanted to make sure it made it safely into jo's hands. i was steamin' mad - yet at the same time i must admit i was admirin' her ingenuity. who'd have ever thought to ask the mailman to wear the pedometer durin' all his deliveries so they could rack up the big steppin' numbers....nobody but my cousin jo i imagine! as i headed out to beat her over the head with it, i noticed lucy bird had somethin' hangin' from her collar....and wouldn't you know - it was mimi's lil black box danglin' like an ugly plastic dog tag...that poor big dog had been doin' all mimi's steppin' while she sat on the curb, waitin' to be discovered!

i decided not to tell either of em that i know of their sneaky step stealin' just yet. i normally don't take pleasure in other people's panic or pain but i found myself takin' in just a bit tonight as they both scurried around tryin' to locate their step counters. i'll have to tell 'em they've been caught shortly but am hopin' before i do i can come up with some way for them to pay me back for doin' all the egg hidin' while they just sat and practiced their poses!

hope your easter weekend was as chocolate filled as mine was....and just in case you bit as many bunnies and chewed as many chicks as i did, my dear friend peggy sent me just the's an easter calorie counter calculator to total your easter basket calories (or those calories you took from someone else's basket or plastic eggs) and see how far you must walk in steps, miles and kilometers to work it off. here's the link: sure to wait til you've reached the bottom o' the basket before you go! no need to waste good chocolate!


jayne aka NellieRose said... it looks like this is a case of the "Postman Always *Peds* Twice"!? :D

Love the part about stuffin' the wrappers back in the eggs,...our dad would do that or just leave the foils in our basket! :D

Jan said...

you know, I'm sorta ashamed to admit it, but I haven't eaten a single chocolate egg nor 'nary a Peep this year...and it's not because I'm trying to be good. ~~sadly shaking her head~~ I just haven't had a single craving for any of it. Must be something really wrong with me, huh? Of course our world is all topsy-turvy right now -- the snow is pouring down, when it should be sunny and warm. It has totally killed all my tulips and daffodils. If it keeps up, it will freeze my lilacs, too. I wonder what Al Gore would say about this??

CFile1 said...

I am rofl over here mo.. not at you but your wonderful blog.. it is one of the highlights of my day to read the goings on in the "real" moland.. love your lo page with the new doo dads and you, mimi and jo. so sorry you got stuck with hiding all the eggs, and stuffing the wrappers back in is too funny.. while i am sorry re trickanery of mimi & jo using the dog & the mailman to do the walkin for them to scam you into losin and having to hide the eggs by yourself, i admire their ingenuity... gosh i see you are so out numbered there my dear mo.. between the pedometer heist and the mouse in the fridge, you are racking up the paybacks to those two.. hugs a bunch and we will ahve to put on our thinkin caps to help you with getting them when they least expect it... hugs .. christa (and thank you for the blogs.. i love your sense of humor, story writing and doo dads!!)

Barbara said...

Between your April Fool's foolin' and Easter treatin' trickery i'd say you have a lot of revenge to seek, eh miss mo? seems many of your family members are playing some very dirty tricks on you, and i'm starting to worry about your upcoming Mother's Day and what sly shenanigans your sistahs are gonna sneak in! just keep your eyes open, ok? watch out for the squirting rose in the bud vase on your breakfast tray, or the pepper gum they offer you after dinner. But I am sorry to hear you spent your Easter walkin' your tootsies off; sounds like you came out pretty even after eating all that chocolate. By the way, did you hide some of those eggs in jo's bustline ;) ??

Anonymous said...

Miss Mo, how do you deal with those evil stepsisters I will never know. I do believe I would go out in the middle of the night and remove those bricks in front of their trailer wheels and let em roll off into the pool while asleep in their tin trailers! Sounds like you have been working and walking pretty hard but every step is a healthy one so actually I guess they did it because they love you and want you to be healthy and fit. Just think, after all your real walking, you will look 10 times better in one of them shiny tube tops than they do!


Robin said...

gosh mo you look fresh as a daisy to me with that big 'ol basket in your slim and trim arms... i love the floral display in your hair and hangin' all graceful down your arm too. i do believe you are living proof to that old adage; that a step a day keeps the bulges away!

Tracy said...

Oooh, that Jo & Mimi are even more dangerous when workin' as a duo! It sounds like it's a good thing you've been doing all that steppin' with the number of eggs, bunnies, and peeps you've consumed. ;)

Hmmm, fish is brain food, oysters are one of jo's staples, but chocolate is the food of creative genious. I see you've been keeping those levels topped up nicely! I bet your annual egg hunt was enjoyed by all... well, everyone except that poor kid who only found eggs with foil in them! xooxooxox

Anonymous said...

mimi and jo show true signs of genius--evil genius, maybe, but definitely genius!