holy doo dad derby! i thought we all decided we weren't going to do this drama into double digit days! i think the only way to achieve the desired deadline for dropping this discussion is to dispense the maybe half dozen definite facts down here. i had hoped it wouldn't be left to me to do but here goes:
• the most recent art with the candies has not been put into the store yet so it cannot be judged for likeness to the one in the store
• the current responders can't compare the two designer's art because the other art in question was removed when the brouhaha was at it's peak but will return shortly.
• the current responders won't be able to compare when it returns as i have been told the samples will be re-done.
• they could not have seen that the pieces from the other designer's various sets, that when placed on top of mine (created long before her's), are somehow almost exactly alike - because if they had they would understand this is about more than 'three candies' as mentioned by one, but that this has been an ongoing concern by not only me. other designers from this store have also had the same concern but have been afraid to bring it up.....i wonder why......or if they did once and were told it wasn't an issue for the store owners, they never tried to address it again.
• they did not know that when i was advised of these similarities by customers at the beginning of the year, i purchased the art to see for myself and then got the opinion of three professionals before making my inquiries to the store.
• the store didn't see this as a problem, even in light of carefully gathered information, though they did give me their consideration. it became more clear to them because of the customer driven brouhaha - that started when i wasn't even around. me blogging it was my way of answering the (now over 300) inquiries i was receiving in support of something i didn't know was happening.
• without the store's support and encouragement, i could not contact the designer privately - talk about brouhaha if that had happened!
• i have asked that my oh so completely all mine primitive photography be removed from the oh so crowded store shelves as i would hate for anyone see it and think it was inspired by the other artist. if removed, i will be giving it out for free to whoever i think can appreciate the originality and hard work that it took to create it. but i will leave the decision up to the store owners. i have told them to do whatever will make this new blip calm down for everyone involve, even if their decision is to remove all of my items.
• if i knew that the store encouraged competition for sales in this way, i would not have chosen them to represent my art. this store says it does not want this to occur and therefore should change their policy to reflect the merchandise allowed so that prospective artists know before hand or approve the previews before they are released - which is, after this customer driven brouhaha, what they are going to do. it is a learning experience for all involved.
those are the honest facts and no one should decide to dole out a description of the duplicatin doo dad dilemma without them. and if you have 'em and still prefer the other designer or decide to desert digital doo dads altogether or deem it all just too much drama to deal with, do it. but don't be damning other deciders who had this information before they doled out their decision.
and to all those who have stood by me loudly or silently or bloggedly - i thank you for doing so and i think the best thing to do now is let these others and the designer have their time in the spotlight to rip me apart however they choose where ever they choose because we know how this came about and we are also a class act and sticks and stones and all that......
in the end, if you do not approve of my feelings or my sharing of them, don't come back and visit my blog where i have enjoyed sharing my thoughts with my customers and my friends. you now know you don't approve of how i see things so i do not want you here. do not return only to have something to take away to cause trouble with at another location. if you want to cause trouble concerning what is said here, do it here. i didn't start this debacle. but i will gladly take the blame if everyone will stop attacking people. while mistakes HAVE been made - but still go unaccounted for by those who made them - there are no bad people involved in the situation to attack.
p.s. i had no idea there was a scanner available that could scan items and the outcome would be the same as what it takes me days to do! i hope that responder will share the name soon! i can't wait to get in my mercedes - oops - forgot that was found offensive...i can't wait to send a member of my household staff to go pick one up for me (hope that's better!).
windin' down the brouhaha
this brouhaha about the duplicatin' doo dads has become so big it has taken on a life of it's own. and wouldn't you know, my efforts to answer all the emails givin' marchin' orders to head for my mailbox via this here blog, is now somehow being made to appear as the beginnings of it all rather than just a result of something i had absolutely nothing to do with startin'. if you'll remember, i was taking a nice snooze in that coffin-like medical park ride when the events at hand started their roll toward brouhaha.
i don't even belong to one - not ONE- of those email-a-thon ad groups that send and receive advanced warning of all the doo dads that will be coming to a screen near you and therefore would never have even known there were duplicated doo dads among them. but now, because i needed to explain and thank all those who felt they were - completely without any request on my part - standin' up for me by saying it was wrong to be a copy cat and that the copy catting had gone on too long and now gone too far, i'm in the dog house as having 'taken it public'...as if no one was seeing it before and i made them look at it. but it is the public who was invited constantly to see the copycat designs and therefore it has always been public.
as far as being honorable and keeping what should be private private, i have certainly done that. i have not discussed all the private areas of the brouhaha - all that went before the over the top copy cat art being delivered to all those publics BY the copycatter herself or the 'privates' that have sucked actual entire days from my life since then. to do otherwise, at the current time, would be wrong.
and i do know right from wrong - yes i do. and i think it would be wrong if i had not addressed and thanked all the customers who saw a wrong being done and decided to take it upon themselves to do some standin' up.
in this new sport of digital doo dads, where you hand your precious art off to someone else to handle with care and generate a few bucks from, you don't know who your customers are unless they contact you. and when that has happened for me, i have done everything possible to nurture those relationships. in the beginning it was because it made good business sense. but over the past year these people who started out as faceless customers have come to be some of the most special people i have ever met. i have to say - i am now a true believer of all those people who say they fell in love on the internet. i used to think they had to be nutty but if you can make lifelong friends via a keyboard, well i guess love is possible too.
anyway - i know you are as sick of all this as i am...but i just want to say... there is no way i could ignore the over hunderd people that took it upon themselves to contact me to offer support if i needed it and if in the end, this little ol' blog here ends up carrying the brunt of the blame, well, that's just the way it has to be 'cause there aren't many times in a person's life that people will put everything aside to do some standin up for you without you asking them to. and when that happens, it's gotta be a thank you thing.
i think in the end it reminds me how important it is to just admit when something has fallen through the cracks or maybe when you have been just plain wrong - you know - instead of trying to do so much spinnin' that the whole thing gets all convoluted and oh so confusing. or maybe like say - oh yeah - we knew - we are just so new at this we didn't know it was such a big deal...but we sure do now and buddy - we'll make sure we don't make THAT mistake again and we sure do have to carry some of the blame for that poor copycatter as she had no reason to think it wasn't okay - you know after allowing it to go on for sooooo long now - and we plan to stand by her all the way just as we do all the artists who trust us to act in their best interest and then maybe they would add and we hope mo forgives us too and we will do everything possible to make sure she doesn't become homeless with all her orphaned doo dads and has to move her doo dads to a new home and by the way, we want to thank each and every one of our customers who have cared so much about this business that we are in to take all the time they have taken to make sure it is run the way it should be and hope they will help us continue to be better at it by keeping us on our toes so be sure to let us hear from you and we are sorry we took so long to realize this is all we needed to say thank you very much and come buy some doo dads soon.
that's what i sure have been hoping i would hear was coming forth and what i hope i can do if ALL my doo dads are forced to become homeless and have to pack up and move and i end up peddling those homeless doo dads all alone - from some mo-tel (my friend tracy originated the mo-tel so i need to give her credit here). i'm sure if that's what comes of this i will one day make someone upset and if i do i sure hope that's what i will say. in fact, i promise if all the above is forced upon me and my doo dads, i will make sure i do exactly that.
so unless some great scandal happens i think we'll just move away from the doo dad duplicatin for now as we are all pretty darn sick and tired of it. but before i go and get ready for cousin jo to think she is surprising me by pulling up in that big metal mess of hers, i wanted to tell you that since i missed the last two deadlines to deliver doo dads for download, my dear friend amy somehow miraculously was able to turn the moland orphanage for homeless doo dads into a place where you can go download my latest art - i decided i'd just give it to all of you for puttin' up with this big ol' mess for way too long...so head on over to www.mojackson.com and take some orphans home along with the new part five ashley from my flea market finds. amy put it all together beautifully BUT so quickly that there are still some little kinks to work out so if you run into one, just email me directly and i'll work it out for you.
thanks again for indulgin' me in all the digital drama of late and i will do my best to keep you from havin' to hear any more about it...how's that sound? holy moly....i think i hear some loud machine making it's way up the drive....please let it NOT be cousin jo YET...i haven't even gotten around to tellin' mini mo's dad she would be comin by for an extended visit....gotta go now....until next time....
southern lessons learned & doodadus interruptus
i have been oh so inspired by the over hundred emails i received in support of my doo dad duplicatin' drama. who knew so many dozens of you out there had detected this doo dad duplicatin' without the need for a dose of defining from me! i'll get back to updatin' THAT in the next blog.
today i want to say how proud i am to be a part of the portion of the human race that goes online and finds dramas to read on designers blogs and offers to support them in their duplicatin' doo dad dilemmas - it may be a small portion of the race that is human but i'm awful proud to be among that portion.
growin' up as i did in the south, there are a few lessons you are taught from birth - they change slightly whether you are born of one sex or the other but some remain the same whether you grow up to be called sissy or bubba or even if you grow up and are able to answer to both sissy AND bubba.
girls have to learn to flirt and have a burnin' desire to be a cheerleader by the age of three and can't wear their hair big or apply make-up until much later - around nine i think it is - but they must be payin' close attention to the skills the females around them use for both so when it's time, there's no learnin' curve to get them to the proper level. those are just a few. the boys must must must play football if they want to be real men - this is even if trumpet playin' is more their calling in life. and they learn to spit preeeetty far by the age of around two and wear wranglers if they want to be real cowboys and levis otherwise.
now before some of you southerners take offense, i must say as a disclaimer - i left my southern home base quite a while ago so i am willing to admit all this may be completely different NOW - but i can only say this IS the way it was when i was growing up about as south as you can get and still be called an american citizen.
anyway....the one thing that all three types of humans are taught in the south is to stick up for what you believe and be willing and ready to stand up for others who could use a little standin' by. this was so important to learn as a southern child that if one of your parent's heard you were guilty of NOT following this age old rule, well....nail the kitchen drawer shut bubba because your mamma is going for the spatula and is going to swat you with it, hard! my older sister was the perfect example of the standin by and up lessons. she ALWAYS took up for me and stood up for me no matter what she might risk by doin' so. it's not really important that she would torture me endlessly afterwards, in the privacy of our home - what mattered is that she stood up for what was right - in public.
when i left the south i was unaware that this isn't an AMERICAN attribute hammered into children from the day they are born. in fact, i was shocked to find out some people had NEVER EVEN HEARD of standin' up for what you believe and was REALLY dumbfounded to discover that even if you tried to explain the 'standin' by someone else' thing, they couldn't even begin to grasp the idea. many a time i thought i would actually show them what this was all about by doing either the standin' up or the standin' by traits they may want to aquire for themselves. if it was just the standin' up one, they would act like you had lost your marbles. now the standin' by would be a little trickier. i would see a need to stand by someone in some situation. boy - they would be so glad not to be there all alone. i'd think - okay - i think this is good - they understand this whole concept and maybe now will go forth in life and share it with someone else and sooner or later more people will teach their babies this from birth and the world will be just a little better place to live.
but you know what - the next time i needed some one to stand by me, i'd wait for that person who i had helped to do the same....and they would just look the other way, like, "this ain't my problem" or they'd say, "don't get me involved!". i was really glad that i was NOT a part of THAT portion of the human race.
when mini mo started kindergarten at a very la-tee-da private school, where tuition for one year is more than both her daddy and i both paid, added together, for all our years of college, it didn't take me long to realize there was no security for the students whatsoever. no fence around the whole property and no gate in the front. just about anybody could come and go as they pleased. they did have a rent-a-cop but when i stopped by the school at odd times - not just when parents usually hang around - i actually found him sleeping in the public park next door. this was terribly upsettin' to me. i mentioned it to some of the other parents i had befriended and they were OUTRAGED at this! at one point they even got together one evening to discuss the matter at hand - AND exchange phone numbers for trainers, publicists, agents and the like....but the main purpose was to figure out how to address the school and it's lack of security for our tiny children. finally the issue could be put off no longer - a man with a gun came into the public park next door and shot himself - dead - right when the bell rang and the tiny children ran free - arriving in the park quickly of course since there was no gate to make their way to and then exit.
it was time to go to the school and make them protect our children! i arrived at the appointed time in the appointed place and when the god-ess of all things school headed toward me, i looked around for my friends for the stand up and by part and all the outraged parents disappeared. from view. from me. from the standin' part. from the god-ess of all things school - including our tiny children's safety and security. i was left to do the standin' for the tiny children all alone.
well - i know you've got some other things to get to so i'll try - as hard as you have come to realize it is for me - to make THIS story short. my standin' efforts did finally get the school to put up a fence around the learnin' facility and a gate with a buzzer in the front and back etc.etc. but from the moment the school realized it was just me doin' the standin', they made my life a living hell until mini mo made it outta there last year. it was really difficult to do alone and it hurt for my new faux friends to run away from me whenever the god-ess of all things school waddled around - see they were afraid she'd think they were 'standin' with me. everybody now brags about what a good job the school does to protect the children and blah blah blah and the school prints out all sorts of materials saying how this is their number one priority etc. etc. which is another important thing i was taught from the time i was born - when you stand up for what you believe is right and stand by someone else who you believe is right and needs you, no matter what you risk or what the outcome, there's a pretty good possibility that no one will notice or remember the standin' - except you. and you gotta know that just you is more than enough and really the only person that matters in this standin' area of life.
so...what i was tryin' to get to in my long winded round about way, was to thank each and every one of you for doin' some of the standin' by during my duplicatin' doo dad drama. and to all of you who told me to be sure to make your standin' statements public again when the broo-haha settles down - that you liked your standin' by to be public and not hidden for protection, i will honor your requests. i will always be greatly appreciative of your emails/comments and especially those of you who are not southern since you probably had to teach the whole standin' thing to yourselves! i hope you'll pass it on to all the little ones in your lives.
all that thanking done for now.... please check back in tomorrow. i'm hopin' i can update the doo dad drama and let you know what i've decided to do with this week's doo dads i designed to deliver via download since i didn't deliver them this week to their usual place. i am ponderin' a few ideas and should have it all figured out by tomorrow afternoon since i can't just let precious doo dads go undelivered, even during a drama! in the meantime feel free to go adopt the little orphans at the mojackson.com orphanage - they're being adopted so quickly i might have to stamp their adoptions final and introduce some other ones to find homes for and once their gone, they're gone!
today's art was a gift to me by my good friend in germany, zahra aka imagined whirrled peas. she's an incredible artist and uses the scrapbook-bytes gallery to display her oh so beautiful scrapbook pages. you can't really tell by her other work but i think she did a fine job here of showing off her wickedly wonderful sense of humor - if you doubt me, check out that fancy seal of approval on the award.
see you soon i hope....
mini mo's chocolate chip cookie recipe
after a day like yesterday i think we could all use a treat! so here is the long over-due recipe for mini mo's delicious, delectable oh so original and royal but royalty free chocolate chip cookies! they were promised BEFORE the quiltin' directions and i am trying to do the catchin' up in order. maybe you can whip some of these up and they'll be ready for you to munch while you read about the quiltin'. and anyone who sends in a photo of a member of their family eating a freshly baked mini mo chocolate chip cookie will be forgiven for not doing the first two assignments - to date i have received not one shot of a collaged box or piece of printed fabric. should i take this as some kind of sign that i should just stick to braggin' about my doo dads? i'll have to ponder that a while....hmmm....guess i'll give you the mini mo chocolate chip cookie recipe first.
mini mo started cooking as soon as she was allowed to use her own feet to carry her from place to place. she has been so adored from the minute she arrived and i felt so very lucky to be blessed with such a wonderful gift...well...i might as well come clean....i was an over-protective ninny. it didn't help that the one time i tried to make her sleep in her crib all night (or else she would be damaged for life i was told), we had that whoppin' big earthquake here in the LA area. or that i don't think her father had ever seen a baby before and certainly didn't know how easily they could break. i often realized he was carrying her in the little bucket thingy they ride in for so long UPSIDE DOWN. so for a very long time i carried her from place to place for fear she might step on something that would hurt her princess little feet. but too soon for my liking she escaped from the ride and started scurrying from place to place.
her first feat of freedom was mastering the mouse and keyboard two days after her second birthday. during breaks from her 'putering' she decided it was time to learn to cook. this was fine with me since i made it clear to her father long before we married that i did not cook
nor did i clean and to expect otherwise would be the kiss of death. when she first started she had a willing assistant - a housekeeper we had for the longest time that spoke absolutely no english and was so horrible at her job that we had to hire someone else to do her work. but mini mo loved her and she adored mini mo and so the baking began. some how they were able to chatter away in two different languages. she still calls mini mo from time to time and they are miraculously able to communicate vital information back and forth.
from about that time until the body snatcher took over mini mo about a month or so ago, there were concoctions at various stages of 'cooked' in our kitchen. unfortunately, many items would be baked for one of the cats or dogs or imaginary friends and we weren't allowed to touch them. this is when i mastered the art of flipping a cake up ever so slightly and eating the whole middle part with absolutely no sign of damage to the outside. i was never caught, unless you count the pounds of punishment i accumulated.
the fabulous mini mo chocolate chip cookies came about by accident since she started trying to make things from scratch before she could read (and of course the non-english speaking assistant wasn't able to help in this area). as she got older she discovered a shorter version
for them and that is what i am giving you here. they are so quick to make and won't make too big a mess unless it is mini mo making them. when she makes even a sandwich the kitchen is destroyed.
here's what you need:
a box of chocolate chip cookie mix...the kind we like to use best comes in one of those bag type things - flat on the bottom and i think is made by duncan hines...but we have used them all and have never had bad cookies! if you are really needin' your cookies fast and all you have
is one of those rolls of chocolate chip dough (i used to carry one in my backpack in college for a quick snack between classes)it will work too - just bang the roll - in the wrapper of course - against the cabinet a few times to make it softer - then dump it in a bowl and mash it up a bit so the other stuff will mix into it okay.
the cookie mix usually calls for oil, water and a couple of eggs. mini mo and i really like to eat the dough so we use egg beaters instead of real eggs so we won't die from whatever it is the raw egg is supposed to give you.
the secret mini mo ingredients are:
a small splash of real vanilla
a small splash of almond extract
about a cup of the old fashioned oatmeal (you know - the kind in the round cardboard container with the man on it)
some of those teeny chocolate chips
once you have all your goodies in the house, pre-heat the oven to 325 or whatever the cookie mix directions say to set it to.
rip open the cookie mix and dump it into a mixing bowl. add whatever the package tells you to add. throw in mini mo's secret ingredients. stir it all up until everything is all mixed together - no powdery lumps or clumps please.
it is now necessary, if you used the egg beaters, to eat a number of blobs of dough to make sure you feel you got it all right.
mini mo likes to use parchment paper to cook cookies on because she says when she uses cookie sheets with the pam spray,all the extra that lands on the floor makes her slip and fall. if you are better at hitting your target than mini mo, a cookie sheet and pam is fine. we use a small ice cream scoop to plop the dough on the cookie sheet.
put them in the oven and set the timer for about eleven minutes. the rest is up to your personal preference. i like my cookies soft so mini mo takes my dozen out at around the time the eleven minutes is up. she likes hers crisp so she leaves her cookie sheet in a little longer. her daddy will eat them any way they are made so we just give him the ones we have left when we have eaten so many we feel sort of sick. sometimes that means he doesn't get ANY.
we have also experimented by using butterscotch chips or peanut butter chips and have even used m&ms from time to time. but mini mo and i agree we always prefer them our original way. the chips we like best are the milk chocolate ones from giradelli's (not sure that's how it's spelled but you know the ones). they are dangerous to have around though as they are delicious without the cookie surrounding them.
martha and others always tell you how long they will keep and under what conditions to keep them...but you know - we can't tell you that because there are never any left to keep anywhere.
one last thing - we always keep a container of the cookie dough in the freezer. it's always a nice treat to give someone special (yourself) a hot chocolate chip cookie when they least expect it - if you hurl on some vanilla ice cream (mini mo makes that from scratch and keeps some in the freezer next to the dough) you are instantly a hostess to be reckoned with. and for those of you who like to eat chocolate chip cookie dough - you haven't had it right until you've had a blob of mini mo's frozen.
i hope you will all attempt THIS project. if not i may just have to throw up my hands in despair and give up on getting you to step away from the computer to do some other things now and then.
when you can't steal from family part t
ahhhh....wish i could do a page about today's adventures in moland. but i am so behind in getting all the things i have written blogged that i'll just write about them instead. plus, they aren't really appropriate for the scrappers who like life to be presented as if viewed through rose colored specs instead of blue rhinestone encrusted ones.
i am still moving at a pace slower than a sickly snail sliming their way to suck seedlings. spending a good portion of my day crammed into an MRI machine has not helped me become any speedier. who invented that thing anyway? is there anyone who willingly jumps up on that rolling slab and is excited beyond words to say, "hit that button and roll me into this coffin like contraption! and leave me in here for as long as possible - pullleease!" if there is such a person, i hope to never know them.
it doesn't help to attempt to speed the process up by taking a wee bit too much calming potion - no - don't make that big ol' mistake. you may just become so calm you snooze off inside the machine and get a few sleep jerks and then there is the possibilty that they will yell at you through the hidden very loud speaker to scare you awake. if that happens, you may try to sit up quickly in the coffin and damage yourself further than the damage already done which made all the fun possible in the first place. they may then wheel the slab out and reprimand you and make the process start all over, ignoring any tears spilling down your face, thinking it is just more of the sleep drool also present. no - don't try to make the whole thing go easier by taking three quarters of a valium....maybe stick with the half...or better yet - just don't have the MRI at all.
anyway, after doing my best to drive the distance home in more pain than i had while driving THERE, i arrived home to quite a bevy of emails in my mailbox. see, there is this one designer who deems it desirable to duplicate my original ideas and it seems she presented a preview of a real doozy this week. i am beginning to wonder if she knows that so many emails are originated every time she attempts to duplicate my original ideas for doo dad designs? does she think that her desire to duplicate another designers ideas for doo dad designs has not been noticed? i am trying to figure out what she says to herself that makes her decide it is okay to duplicate someone else's original ideas. doesn't she know that the worst thing an artist can do for their reputation is to go this far beyond what is accepted as "inspiration'?
i guess i can't really fault those who buy her attempts to duplicate ideas for my dear doo dads - especially since all the hard work is done by the time she is doin' her duplicating - she gets to spend THAT time finding some extra doo dads to throw in that maybe i didn't have time to do some dads for. but doesn't she have just a bit of a guilty conscience delving into doo dad ideas already done up?
here's another problem with doo dad duplicatin'....nobody really cares if it isn't their doo dads duplicated. the store that sells either the duplicates or the original doo dads doesn't - they act as if they can't see any problem unless the law is broken and i guess an arrest can be made. they aren't much interested in showin' respect to the original designer and all that or what it looks like to the customer. i guess a dollar is a dollar and looks the same no matter whose doo dads - original or duplicated - bring it in to their pocket. most times the customer doesn't mind. they just want some good ol' doo dads for a good price. the other designers won't speak up for you as they worry they'll make someone mad and maybe take a little shine off their own designing. i can certainly respect the last two respondin' the way they do but i must admit, i think the store would want a policy of designers not having any duplicates designed to deliver via download - especially when the duplicator is hurtin' another member of the 'family' they are part of.
but....the digital art world is relatively new and has a rather smallish community still and i'm guessin' no one really wants to call attention to themselves by givin' their open opinion since mean ol' emails could start to fly and some of those group email lists could catch on fire. and you know - i can understand them worryin' about that.
it is not my intention to offend anyone who approves of duplicating so please don't attack me. it would be better if you just don't visit here so i don't make you mad at me ...how's that sound? for those of you who have been so out spoken on my behalf, well - i am speechless....i thank you from the bottom of my heart and as soon as this current duplicatin' doo dad dilemma dies down a bit and i get your permission, i will include you in my doo dadin' devotee hall of fame.
thank you for coming to visit the mo blog and if you have a chance, stop by my new web site...www.mojackson.com. there are some doo dad orphans lookin' for new homes you might see fit to adopt! offerin' them up for you to adopt is just my way of telling you how much you are appreciated - whether you are a fellow doo dadder, a doo dad collector or just a person who came here by accident and could use a few good doo dads.
on the floor again...
...and i didn't mean to actually take a 'hiatus'....i truly thought i had recovered from my recent injuries and would be back in action right away. but i think i left the floor sooner than i should have. i was goin' to scrap a page on this latest episode in my never a dull moment life but from what i notice overall, scrappers don't much care for lookin' at pages about the more unpleasant days people experience - or maybe REAL scrappers only have pretty, happy, perfectly designed days. if that's the case - and my cousin jo swears this is the deal - i don't qualify and should just stick to the doo dad'n and therefore, hope you don't mind me bloggin' instead of scrappin' it! so...
...i thought this last round of dire disks was just about done so i decided to drive to beverly hills to get my faux blonde hairs. it wasn't just vanity that made me drive that distance during dilapidated disk discomfort - oh no! while vanity played a part, i go to a laa tee dah place to get the faux blonde hairs and the blonde fauxer is only in town once a month and appointments have to be made in january for the whole year's worth of those hairs.
i should've just sacrificed my appointment to an up and coming starlet with dark roots and stayed home with a bottle of sun-in and the hair dryer but i truly thought the destroyed disks would be dandy for the duration. maybe they would have if it weren't for me having to whip my head all around - back and forth and forth and back while i sped down the freeway, determined that the deranged derelict - described daily on the news as depositing bullets in defenseless drivers - didn't deliver any of his deadly devices into my head.
i made it, bulletless but in pain just the same, to the salon where i spent five long hours wrapped up in foil like a baked potato. i further damaged my disks when i dutifully dipped my no longer dim do down backwards into that dark sink - i couldn't even enjoy the head scrub i received or the hollywood insider's gossip that was swirling around me with my disks displaced this way! i left looking quite lovely but quietly in pain and was certain i wouldn't make it home but did even though i could not do anything to dissuade the deranged derelict from doing harm to me while i drove. i also found it dreadfully difficult to drive the whole duration without changing lanes. it seems it was difficult for the drivers of cars around me also - many were having problems with their middle fingers sticking straight up in the air as they waved to me while speeding to get around my mercedes. i'm afraid the sort of driving i was doing that day actually draws other drivers to become deranged derelicts.
i arrived home in one painful piece and went directly back to the floor where i have stayed. the floor time appears to have helped since i am now able to move my fingers enough to type out this bit of blog to you.
i tried very hard to deliver this week's doo dads for download by the designated deadline but didn't do so. i was devastated! even so, i can't tell you how much better it has made me feel to know i was missed by all of you who have written to inquire about my well-being! i will try to write each of you back after a little more floor time. it's been a little difficult to do doo dads or attempt email with the laptop balanced on the double Ds because tinkerbell, my precious little un-dog, has decided to deposit herself directly between my head and the screen. i have to let her have her way though so she will continue to adore me since that ol' body snatcher that took over mini mo hasn't been doing much adoring lately.
the art here is courtesy of the oh so fabulous artist macysmom. i have NO idea how she figured out what i really store in my stack of stunning suitcases! OR where she got that shot of me sticking out my sucked-in stomach! but she sure sent my spirits soarin' by sendin' such sweet sentiments since she sensed i was sickly. so, thank you macysmom for this wonderful art which i will cherish...especially since nobody has sent any shots of their assigned collage box and she's the only one who has thought to distract me so i wouldn't think about my failure to inspire you to step away from the scrapbook for a minute or so.
speaking of which, i promise to blog on up the promised directions for your quilt'n assignment along with mini mo's chocolate chip cookie recipe (i got SO many requests for IT - seems most of you are more interested in eatin' than collaging...so i will honor your desire in the next day or so.) and then i MUST tell you what cousin jo has up her sleeve - you are NOT goin' to believe THIS one!
thanks for not givin' up on me during my recent time on the floor!
mini mo's quilted mom
it is important that i make one thing perfectly clear....i am not the best at writing out instructions. i just seem to assume too much so sometimes it means you have to read between the lines - or write me for more info to fill in the holes! and you will never see a layout of my workspace - maybe bits and pieces of it that have somehow missed my abuse long enough to be presentable - but never ever a long shot like some people show of perfectly neat nests. not unless someone turns my name and address into oprah - like people have been doing lately to relatives they hate and want to humiliate even though they SAY they are exposing their shortcomings because they love them - and then a bunch of cameras show up and enter the doo dad den before i can reach for my stun gun and lipstick. but i don't think i'm gonna worry because our driveway is really long so i'd probably see 'em coming and be armed, lipped and ready.
please don't get all upset with me if i forget some little something - just post a comment and i'll add whatever should have been here to begin with. now, if i ever do the book everyone keeps bugging me to do and charge - oh say $32.16 for it and then leave a vital step out of some mad mo creation, then you can get all upset - is it a deal? and for those of you who need to get creative ideas with bland, boring instructions from someone without ADD, please feel free to leave now and do a google - i'll never know you rejected me. okay - now that we have all that out on the table....
... the picture you see above is not some bad version of those cute little ladies some smarty pants thought of to make for everyone to use when they post layouts - no - it is my original daughter's present to me for mother's day when she was in kindergarten. this was of course long before the body snatcher took over mini mo a few weeks ago (still here and looks to be settling in for a while). the words all around were what she dictated to the parent volunteer to include on the artwork. we later found out that mini mo could in fact read AND write before entering kindergarten and didn't need this dictation taker but tried to keep it a secret so we wouldn't "clap and say yeah!", which of course we did and made everyone else do when we found out. she also did a portrait of her daddy for father's day and it's a very good likeness but we keep it hidden so he won't know he's lost most of his hair.
i'm sure you have similar art created by YOUR brilliant children or by you when you were a child or really any image or combination of images you love. you could frame them but sooner or later they would end up in one of those stacks all framed art worth under 1000 dollars ends up in - the one that leans against the wall in the basement or attic - or you could just put it with the other piles of paper we have to save that our adored children carry into the house. but if you want it to live forever there are only two things to do with it - put it in a wonderful scrap book... or QUILT IT! these are really the only two things that seem to be fought over for generations to come (except money of course but i'm not giving out helpful hints on how to preserve it). and a quilt not only passes down bits of history - it is useable history!
now don't freak out and say you can't quilt or sew or think you need to go spend your inheritance at joann's. all you need is the art to be on fabric, a piece of fabric for the backside, some thread and a needle and some puffy stuff to put between the two - preferably everything all cotton. once you do this one little piece of art you can wait until the next beautiful piece of art comes home from school and then add another... and then another and another and pretty soon you gotcherself a beeeautiful heirloom worthy of the best of family feuds a few generations from now. if you'll approach it this way you will be successful. i think it's why even the least confident person in the world feels good about digital scrap bookin' - it's lots of little commitments that can be dumped completely and started over if necessary. most people won't attempt quilting as it seems like a huge commitment of time and stuff and space. but i think everyone should do it at some point in their life and i aim to be the one to find a way to make that happen. also, it's a bit more portable and social than digital scrap booking is for those times when you have to be social or portable.
there a many ways to get the art onto the piece of fabric. the easiest and cheapest for you is to have your child create the art right onto the fabric. but this really limits your choice of art and quite frankly, kids don't like drawing with YOUR choice of materials on such an unusual medium and to get anything good, you'd have to make them do that exclusively and that might do some sort of life time damage to them.
you can transfer the art via one of the zillion ways there are nowadays to do transfers or you can buy those way too expensive pre-treated sheets of fabric to run through your printer and screw the first 3 up learning how best to to do it and then be too pissed off to use the remaining two and hate me every time you think of the money and quilt you lost.
or you can do the one that makes the MOst sense to me....buy some fairly good quality 100% muslin, a roll of freezer paper and - here's the biggest expense - some bubble jet 2000 (and your ink jet printer of course)! i buy my bubble jet 2000 online for about $17.50. now don't scream at me - this is enough to 'bubble jet ready' MOre fabric than you can use for a while unless you are the old shoe livin' lady with zillions of arty children. AND - whatever drips off the fabric can be reused.
The process is easy - you just soak the fabric in the solution and hang it to dry. then press it with the iron nice and smooth. then lay it down on the shiny side of the freezer paper and iron over the fabric - the freezer paper sticks to the fabric like magic and allows the fabric to go through your printer perfectly. just cut into whatever size you can tell your printer to print in relation to the size of your art, load it just like you do your paper and ta-da - you're printing fabric! once i know you can succeed at this, we can branch out into other fabric printing projects....... but stick with this one first.
this technique is only for ink jet printers and you WILL want to experiment a little...i have six different printers here - four are epson ink jets and each one prints differently and therefore i would use a different print setting depending on which i was using. with some printers you might even have to bump up the color via saturation either in your image program or the printer settings. i can help you with this when the time comes to print if you need me to. and why not do your experimenting on the fabric that has not been treated if you want so you can save IT for when you feel good about what you're doing. and i think i forgot to tell you WHY you are treating the fabric first (DUH)... this makes it washable - a gentle wash but still washable.
the most important thing to do before putting the fabric/freezer paper into your printer is to make absolutely sure no threads are hanging off. you don't want to be digging any of those babies out altho they aren't as harmful as the baby snickers i rolled through one of my printers (was the perfect melty temp to pop in my mouth when it was delivered out the front though). the biggest problem with the loose strings is they end up pressing some odd color in the wrong place on your art as they roll around the roller.
okay..i think that's about all i can type for now, since i am still laying flat on the floor. in the meantime, you can get started by finding the perfect art and tomorrow i will concentrate on the sewing part of your assignment... i'm thinkin' of even offering you an incentive for giving this a try...i just know you'll be so glad you did!
a wound with a view...
i sure do appreciate all of you who wrote to find out when i would pop back up here at the blog. i was barely able to design doo dads to deliver via download due to dilapidated discs damaged during daring deeds a decade or so ago, back when i dated dashing dare devils. damn those damaged discs! but determined doo dad designer that i am, i delivered a decent duo by the deadline! this was only achieved by laying my head down directly on the desk while i worked.i was sure glad to see so many of you using the doo dads designed during my down days in your daily posts - made it all worth this one side of my face that is still dented. it was my plan to make lots of comments of great appreciation last night but depressed from days of digitizing face down on the desk, i dove into the drugs the doctor designated. they had such a dazzling effect i decided to go outside with my new bright orange fiskar clippers and tree trimmer. i worked diligently during the remaining daylight hours, demolishing dense digitalis and deciduous growth. returning to my doo dad den, i laid on the floor and haven't moved since. but please know how delighted i am each and every time one of my doo dads dances upon the screen and i thank you so very much for letting me help you to dress up your pages.
today i am doing everything laying on the floor with a 12 inch laptop perched on my double D chest but fear i may have to devise some sort of device to dangle it a bit higher as after a while the heat it discharges is quite disagreeable. the oh so talented and kind hearted 'macysmom' made a desirable suggestion - one of those massage tables with a hole drilled out for your face to poke through and a computer below. this might just do the trick. i must deny myself any more trips to the drug cabinet - just one more dose could lead to my downfall and make me doo dad deficient forever.
i guess the box assignment didn't inspire you enough....did you find it too difficult? i was certain by now i'd be deluged with photos to download! oh well...if you'll come back just a little later today, i will pass on another of my favorite ideas - one that is sure to become an instant family heirloom and will make you envied by all who know you. just come on back - you'll see......oh - hope you don't mind that i attached some of my daily inspiration (and results of my hard duty)...i hate a blog with no view!
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